For female comedians, making it to household-name status comes with more than sold-out shows. It means endless travel, constantly being “on” and, whether fair or not, the expectation to always look put together. So when we caught up with Heather McMahan during her Bamboozled Tour, we skipped the standard beauty questions and asked what actually keeps her feeling like herself while living out of a suitcase.
The answer? She’ll try just about any beauty treatment once, considers herself the easiest person on the internet to sell a product to and says she has only two settings: “truly like RuPaul’s Drag Race” or “troll under the bridge selling riddles.” From the facial she books whenever she can to the massage she refuses to skip and the sleep routine she’s still trying to master, here’s what she told us.
Do you feel pressure as a female comedian to always look glammed up, or is that something you genuinely love?
“You know, I would actually say comedy is the one space where, as a woman, you can completely be vulnerable and be the most gnarly version of yourself because it’s all about committing to the bit. I personally, though, have always had the performance style of showing up, as we say in the South, completely suited and booted.
I will always be in full glam. I will always have on an eyelash, do a full skin care regimen and have on a full drag beat. That is how I feel ready to take the stage. I have two modes. It’s either truly like RuPaul’s Drag Race or not a stitch of makeup on and you’re lucky if I’m even wearing sunscreen. There is no middle ground. It’s troll under the bridge selling riddles or it’s full glam.”
Has your beauty routine evolved as you’ve become more in the spotlight?
“My beauty routine hasn’t evolved more, but I will tell you this: I get sent a lot of cool products now that I don’t necessarily have to order online, so it’s a lot more experimental because I am a guinea pig. If you send something to my house, I’m going to open that box and try it.
I am also the queen of getting sold stuff online. Give me a late-night scroll and I’m buying all the things. I’m the easiest person to sell to. So I’m willing to try anything. You want me to try a laser, a cream or microneedling? I will do it. You would think now I’d be more decisive, but no. I’ll try anything once.”
Are there any in-office beauty treatments you swear by?
“I’m old school. I love a Hydrafacial. Everybody kind of says they’re bullshit now, but I’m obsessed with Hydrafacials. That’s the one thing where I’ve been blessed with pretty good skin, but when I get a Hydrafacial, I just feel refreshed and ready to go. I also swear that if you put castor oil or tea tree oil on anything, it will cure it, fix it or heal it. Those are my two all-natural things that I will put on anything.”
Wellness can be hard to prioritize when you’re constantly traveling. What habits have made the biggest difference for you?
“My lifestyle is pretty gnarly. I live on the road, so I am in every different time zone and every different area of the world. I really have to be thoughtful and really try to take care of myself on the road.
That’s one of the reasons why I partnered with Unisom. When they came out with the Sleep Support Gummies ($19), I thought it was helpful because that way I can lower my cortisol and not feel like I am constantly spinning. I will wake up in cities and have to remind myself where I am as I’m walking on stage. I’ll think, ‘I’m in Cincinnati. Okay, got it.’ It’s pretty crazy traveling as much as I do.”
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What does your sleep routine actually look like?
“On paper, my cortisol is up, it’s down, it’s low, it’s high. I am all over the place. So I’m a full doom scroller, and that’s the thing that’s really wild about being a woman. We’re exhausted all day and then completely wired. I’m doing zoomies like a French bulldog at night.
I’m my own worst enemy. I do this to myself. You spend all day thinking, ‘I can’t wait to get to bed.’ Then you finally unwind and that’s when I get a wave of energy. Next thing you know, I’m reorganizing my entire closet. It’s midnight. Go to bed. In the words of Bethenny Frankel, ‘Go to sleep.’ Finally, you have the stillness of the evening and then it’s like, let me go through my entire checklist, think about everything I’ve worried about for the last 20 years, worry about the future, worry for my husband and everybody else. Then suddenly I’ve decided to take up a new hobby at 1 a.m. and I’m learning how to sew. What is wrong with us? Why are we wired this way?”
What do you like about the Unisom Sleep Support Gummies?
“I started seeing a naturopath a couple of years ago and I didn’t know what I didn’t know until I learned about magnesium and ashwagandha. I’ve been on the magnesium and ashwagandha train for a really long time, so when they were saying this to me, I thought, why would I not try it in one formula since I already take these supplements separately?
When in doubt, if you can be drug free and tap into more natural things, I always feel great. People don’t realize that everybody is chronically low on magnesium. I would wake up in the middle of the night with Charlie horses in my legs and cramps, and magnesium is just something everybody should have.
Ashwagandha can support better sleep quality. It’s also great for stress and anxiety, and that’s 99 percent of it. You can be physically tired, but as women our brains are always wired and always thinking about the next thing. Ashwagandha has kind of been a game changer just to curb that noise in the background.”
How do you take care of yourself while you’re on tour?
“I love a massage. I will let a stranger rub me down. I don’t care. I will get a massage anywhere.
That’s one thing that keeps me put together, taking that hour to get a deep tissue massage. When I get a massage, I want somebody to put an elbow in my spine. I don’t want a light Swedish massage. I want somebody to really put my body back together. I do a lot of physical therapy, I love getting a massage and honestly it’s about finding a small routine in the day no matter where we are. We make it a point to find the best breakfast and coffee spot in that city and create some sort of habit or sense of home by going to a fabulous neighborhood spot every day.”
What are your top three desert island beauty and wellness picks?
“Because we’re on a desert island, somebody’s going to tell me I have to have sunscreen, but I only buy European sunscreen. So. I’m getting any sunscreen you can buy in an Italian or French pharmacy.
Then I’m bringing Mega Babe ($14). I love all the Mega Babe products. The third thing is YSE Beauty’s lip tint ($30). My lips are the driest on the planet and it’s the most incredible lip elixir I’ve ever used in my life. So I’m staying hydrated, staying less stinky and staying moisturized.
And obviously, if we’re on a deserted island, I’m probably panicking or maybe I’m relaxed. So I would probably want to bring my Unisom Sleep Support Gummies. However, maybe I just need to go to a deserted island to get away from everybody. Maybe that’ll fix my anxiety for once.”
